


DON'T LET ME BE

by Nobody_Music_19



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Abuse, Blackmail, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Goner, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Sorry, Manipulation, Multi, Nightmares, Rape, Sad, Song Lyrics, Song fic, Twisted, just read it, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:08:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21817156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nobody_Music_19/pseuds/Nobody_Music_19
Summary: [    I'm a goner    ]
Relationships: Jenna Black/Tyler Joseph
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	DON'T LET ME BE

**Author's Note:**

> I have finals tomorrow and I'm stressed.
> 
> This is what happened, I'm so sorry.

2016

Tyler bolted awake in bed, breathing heavily. He looked around his bedroom in a panic before realizing where he was. His adam's apple bobbed up and down in his throat as he swallowed hard. Sweat was dripping down his forehead, and down his back. To his right Jenna was peacefully asleep, breathing slowly. He focused on the sound while he attempted to slow down his own breathing and heart rate. 

Tyler laid back down after he was mostly calm, but his nightmare continued to replay itself over and over in his mind. Eventually, staring into the darkness of their bedroom became too much, and he quietly climbed out of their bed and headed downstairs. 

He walked down the basement stairs to his makeshift studio that was still in the planning phase of modeling. He turned the lights on, and suddenly he could breathe. He walked over to the small table that held his keyboard, and sat down in the computer chair that remained in front of it. After turning it on, he plugged in his headphones and put them over his ears. He played the same melody he played every night he had the nightmare. It didn't go away. 

[ I'm a goner ]

Tyler was tired the following day. Josh noticed. 

“Hey, are you alright? You seem kinda out of it today,” Josh asked Tyler, who was attempting to figure out a bass line. 

They were at the recording studio. It was safe. 

“Yeah, I'm fine. I was just up late last night.” Josh lightly laughed, “You really need to start going to bed earlier.” Tyler weakly nodded his head, then continued on with the baseline. 

[ somebody catch my breath ]

Josh recorded drum tracks, but Tyler was too unfocused to record that day. They were getting ready to leave and Tyler was by the door. Josh started walking towards him, but tripped and started to fall. He reached forwards towards Tyler out of instinct, and ended up grabbing onto his side and hip. Tyler jumped forward and pushed Josh’s hands away, causing him to hit the floor with a loud thud. “Uggghhhh,” Josh groaned from the floor. “What the heck, Tyler?” 

Tyler stood frozen, still facing the door. He was no longer in the recording studio. 

“Tyler!?” Josh groaned standing up. Slowly, he turned around to face Josh. He was at a loss for words. “Sorry, I-I, sorry.”

[ I'm a goner ] 

Tyler bolted awake for the third night in a row. He had a meeting on Saturday. He repeated his process of listening to Jenna breathe, calming down, then quietly walking down the stairs to his basement to play his keyboard. The very familiar and frequently played melody coursed through his headphones. He momentarily closed his eyes while he played, only for them to immediately pop back open when his nightmare played behind his eyelids. He took a deep breath, and exhaled. 

[ somebody catch my breath ]

Tyler was sitting on a chair at his kitchen table. He stared at the calendar on the wall. It was Thursday. He only had two days. 

Tyler practically jumped out of his skin when a hand gently caressed his cheek. Jenna yelped when Tyler jumped out of fear, scaring them both. “I'm sorry. I thought you heard me come in.” Tyler just covered his face and breathed out of his nose. He shook his head, “It's okay.” 

Although it wasn't okay.

Tyler couldn't stop shaking. 

[ though I'm weak ]

Tyler, yet again, bolted awake in his bed, but this time he woke up crying. He did not even bother trying to calm down next to Jenna. No. He abruptly got out of their bed, and made his way down to his basement. He turned the lights on, walked over to his keyboard, and forcefully sat down in his chair. 

He didn't turn on his keyboard. 

Tyler covered his face with his hand and began to sob. Full on, body shaking, sobbing. His nightmare replayed itself over and over and over behind his eyelids, and he couldn't make it go away. When he opened his eyes it was still there and he wanted to scream. His hands made their way into his hair and he roughly pulled on the strands. However, that only made matters worse as more and more moving pictures filled his head. 

He cried until he couldn't cry anymore.

He didn't even need to play the melody on his keyboard. He heard it in his head. It was always there.

[ and beaten down ] 

Tyler sat on the couch in Josh’s living room. Josh was telling him something, but he couldn't hear any of the words. He stared at a spot on the carpet, then he glanced up at the wall. His eyes stopped on a small crack near the baseboard. 

He was no longer in Josh’s living room. 

“Tyler, hey. You're okay, just breathe.” Josh said, suddenly in front of Tyler. Tyler was stuck so far in his head, he hadn't even realized that he started hyperventilating. 

“Come on, breathe with me. It's not going to get any better until you slow down. Breathe.” Josh placed a supportive hand on Tyler’s back, and Tyler flinched, then quickly moved away. Josh held his hands up, “Okay, okay, I won't touch you, but you need to slow down. Come on, Tyler, breathe with me. I don't want you to pass out.” 

Tyler did breathe, but he was so far away it was as if he wasn't even there. 

[ I'll slip away ] 

Tyler was laying next to Jenna in their bed. She turned on her side and smiled at him suggestively. Then she moved over and climbed on top of him so she was straddling both sides of his hips. She didn't say anything as she slowly moved forward until her lips were on his neck. Tyler swallowed hard. 

Her hands slowly made their way under his shirt, and that was when he forcefully pushed her away. “Ow, Tyler!” Jenna said as she sat up after being shoved. He got off of the bed, and started heading towards the door. “Where are you going?” Tyler chose not to answer as he made his way down to his basement. 

He sat at his keyboard and played a very familiar melody, and he silently cried. Tears continued to run down his face, making it difficult to see the keys, but he knew exactly how to play the melody. 

[ into the sound ]

Tyler sat in his car in the middle of the large parking lot, and stared. He stared at every single stupid letter on the front of the building he dispized so much. He waited until his clock read ‘1:28 p.m.’ then he pulled out a very small notebook out of the center console. He slowly flipped it open and stared at the page. 

He felt numb.

02/08/16

03/07/16

03/27/16

04/19/16

05/03/16

05/28/16

06/22/16

Tyler felt like he was going to cry as he clicked his pen and added to the page.

07/13/16

He closed the notebook, put it back in the center console, then exited his car. He opened the large door that had “Fueled By Ramen” plastered across the glass. The receptionist greeted him as he walked past her to go down the long hallway that led to the room he hated so much. Once he stood in front of the door, he lifted his hand up and found it shaking, then knocked on the door three times. He took a step back and willed himself not to cry. 

The door opened to reveal a man only slightly taller than Tyler, with dirty blonde hair. He smiled, pulled Tyler inside, then closed the door and locked it. Tyler stood in the middle of the room, unmoving. The man then walked up to Tyler, and breathed into his ear, “I've been waiting so long for you to get here.” 

Tyler was visibly shaking. 

[ the ghost of you ]

The man was named Adam. Adam was the head of Fueled By Ramen, and he also had control over everything. One day, February 8th, 2016, to be exact, Tyler had a meeting with Adam. It wasn't long into the meeting before Tyler was presented with two options. The first option included Twenty One Pilots being dropped from the label, and all of their songs belonging to the company. After everything Josh and Tyler had worked for, he couldn't let that happen. Tyler didn't pick option two either. He sat numbly in his chair across from Adam, so Adam chose option two for him.

Adam chose option two for Tyler eight more times after that. 

[ is close to me ]

Adam brought a hand up and slowly caressed Tyler’s cheek, “I heard your song on the radio today. You're getting pretty popular. I bet you don't want to give that up, do you?” Tyler was completely petrified. 

Tyler didn't respond, so Adam grabbed a handful of Tyler’s hair, lightly pulling. “N-no n-no, no.” Adam smiled at him, “That's what I thought.”  
He walked so he was standing in front of Tyler, then settled his hands on Tyler’s hips. 

Tyler stood frozen. He was shaking, lip trembling, doing everything in his power not to cry, becuase he knew that would only make matters worse. Adam’s hands made their way under Tyler’s shirt and roamed across his stomach. Tears welled up in Tyler’s eyes, as he looked anywhere but at Adam. “You're going to remember this one.” 

He reached for Tyler’s belt.

[ I'm inside out ] 

Tyler was bent over a desk. He quietly cried, some from the physical pain, but mostly from the emotional trauma. Adam was moaning, but Tyler felt like he was going to throw up. 

He stared at the crack on the wall near the baseboard that he stared at every time. He already knew that when he went to bed that night he would wake up with his heart racing, then go into his basement and play the same melody he always played. 

[ I'm underneath ]

Josh was sitting with Tyler in his basement. “I wrote a new song.” Josh looked up from his phone, “Did you record a demo yet?” Tyler shook his head ‘no’. “But I printed the lyrics.” 

Tyler handed Josh the lyric sheet, then watched him read it. Josh looked up when he was done, “Wow, Ty, thats-” he paused for a moment, “What did you write that about?” Tyler looked into Josh’s eyes with a numb expression on his face, 

“I just kind of made it up." 

[ don't let me be gone ]

His nightmare was real. His nightmare was a memory. His nightmare was a memory that would never stop repeating itself. 

It was there when his eyes closed.

It was there when his eyes opened.

It was always there. 

His nightmare was real, and it was never going to go away. His calendar was already marked with another meeting. 08/02/16. He knew what that meant. Until that day, he would wake up to nightmares, then live them until he fell asleep. It was a cycle that did not stop.

[ don't let me be gone ]

His nightmares are real and they 

will

NEVER 

end.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos, comments, subscribe, share! 
> 
> Stay Alive, A.


End file.
